A question arose in my mind

One early morning. While sitting at my desk, enjoying my morning tea a question came to me: Why do i want to be married? An interesting question to say the least. Coming quite suddenly. Hm. I know one thing. I want to be loved. Just like everybody else does (don't blame me you know you enjoyed that little bit there). But why? I mean I haven't exactly not been loved. I have my friends who I love, my family and God. So why is it that I'm so focused on love? On being married to someone? Am i trying to replace something? Someone? I keep getting into trouble because of this silly heart of mine. You know, I say I won't date, won't get involved, that I'll I'll move on from old memories, forgive and forget you know? Well easier said than done. The combination of both the heart and my braid cause more confusion and trouble. If this only exist because of the fall in the beginning I have a new reason to hate sin. seriously. A lot of the things are obvious but no they are far too difficult than they should be. Seriously. If someone uses you, hurts you, makes you feel like crap then naturally you should avoid having ANY feeling for that person. but you do anyway or old memories you wish had never ended even though the person hurt you the most. Its all mad! we all must be too if we are pulling junk like this. So with trouble like this why? Why do we fall for the wrong person? Why do we pursue those we shouldn't? It couldn't be because we all have a unified masochistic fetish right?! That'd make a lot of sense that's for sure but I know that isn;t (unfortunately) the answer. Or is it? It'd make a lot of sense. okay so maybe everyone has a little masochist in them? Am I really holding a discussion with myself in m blog? Yes. Yes I am. With that I digress. Okay. But yes. No idea why. Why do we do the things we do? Especially when weknow we shouldn't? Its strange. very very strange. I know one thing: I'm scared, i'm afraid. Because I don't want to ruin my life. Another thing I don't want to love and marry the wrong person. I don't want to ruin or waste someone's time and life by marrying them. so then that makes me afraid. I kinda want to get it right on the first try. This weekend I went camping with my friends and we had many discussions about relationships, what we want in a girlfriend, etc. But its only now that I think of a good question. "Why do we want a relationshup? why do we want to date?" I have no clue why. Is it o find osmeone who shares our likes, dislikes and pain? I don't know. It'd be alot easier to talk to someone married if I knew any. Man this sucks. Anyone outthere got an answer? omments? Questions? feel free to ask, say whatever. I'm here. Help.