Nostalgia and days gone bye

The other day i got hit with a weave of nostalgia. I've been moving things around in my room recently since we got news beds, so I've been going through things I didn't need anymore and just sorting through my junk I have in my room. It reminded me of college life looking through what to keep, what to buy to help me keep things more tidy and organized. Reminded me of when I'd move in and the people I saw, going to classes and the daily life of a college campus. It just hit me hard in the chest that its been a good 4 years since school. Life has flown by and its so weird to take a long hard look at where I'm at now.

I won't lie, life hasn't gone the way I planned it. I got kicked out of school, my family was hit with a lot of health issues and losses, one after another and I'm not doing what it is I THINK (keyword there) I should be doing and a whole lot of other fantastically frustrating things. Does it get me down? yes. Oh yes it does. Does it suck? Sure does. But I try and not to let that get me down. I love the feeling of nostalgia. It feels me with warm feelings of the past. Of days when we'd hang out at college, of summers spent as a kid running through sprinklers, and water and of days spent enjoying good cartoons. But I also and more so recently, have been trying to look forward to the future and be an adult.

I've been trying to put away some of my childish ways. I've been trying to be more responsible, more motivated, staying on task, and that sort of thing that I just never got down as a kid. I'm trying to be financially responsible and more minded about the future. Life has given me wake up calls and I am trying to answer them.

I miss college. I miss summers spent with friends, cartoon reruns, and even the simple homework I used to have. But those days are over. Sure I can visit them, enjoy them even. But I have to realize that the only important thing is forward and not the past. I've gotten what I've gotten from there and I need to grow from my experiences. The Character development continues…

In the event

That you didn't know I have two other blogs other than this one. I try not to throw so much into this one so I started another one and I have one for specific writings. So check them out and enjoy.

http://contemplatingthevoices.blogspot.com/

http://stillsmallvoiceinmyheart.blogspot.com/

A really good piece...

Hannah Murray: “Do you know what hurts the most about a broken heart? Not being able to remember how you felt before. Try and keep that feeling, because if it goes, you’ll never get it back.”
Joseph Dempsie: “What happens then?”
Hannah Murray: “Then you lay waste to the world. And everything in it.”
–in Skins

I got my wish

I had wanted school to pick up so there would be work I'd actually be doing so I could feel like I wasn't just doing bits and pieces here and there and being lazy. Well I got my wish. I'm taking Greek which is part of my major (Biblical Studies) and so now its picking up with us having to learn charts. I took the class (and failed) before and I remember the charts. They're no fun. At all. Because I had to learn so many of them. It sucks. My New testament class has me read different books of the bible and this time its Mark. Plus a two page paper to go along with it. Easy. Except my printer hates me. It hasn't been printing everything I write out. Oh joy after I just bought ink. Looks like its library printing for me. Then there is one of the banes of my existence: Math. This is the single most hated subject EVER by me. Simply because most of the time its so hard and complex but then my friend explains in 5 minutes what took a whole class period. Lame. Luckily we don't even have (they seriously did not prepare the teachers well this semester) any books yet for my World civilizations class or my US History class. So its lecture and note taking and no reading. Fine for now until we get our books in. Not so much fun then. So this semester is picking up now and the work is coming at me. Quite forcefully I might add. But that's college for you. School basically is my life and life is basically school. Until I finally get another job hopefully. It sucks also since I no longer live on campus I don't see my friends as often since its to school and then back home once classes end. Lame again. So yes this school semester is going to suck. I can tell already but its better than being stuck at home all day and it helps me get off of my academic probation. Always a plus. Hopefully once I get the hang of the workload life will get a bit less hectic. I doubt it but hey a guy can dream right?

That's what college is for -getting as many bad decisions as possible out of the way before you're forced into the real world. I keep a checklist of 'em on the wall in my room. -Jeph Jacques

People watching...

Let's face it we watch people, its what we do. Its a game to me that I play just about everyday. I see the little quirky things people do and say, for instance some of thing I saw during some of my classes.An example is of today a young lady in my class sneezed and her friend said bless you. Simple enough. It wasn't until, in classic valley girl voice she said thank you. Seriously? I mean heard it but couldn't believe it. I assumed that was a stereotype and was a joke. Apparently not. It frightened me. It was strange. Her friends then started to talk to each other in valley girl fashion. I wanted to shoot myself. Second. A girl I notice is walking by me and it looks as though she is going to walk right past me so I stop to let her by. She then proceeds to stop in front of me and go straight forward. Wait what? Really? I thought that was weird. She was walking directly in front of me and then decided she was going the wrong direction and decides to just stop for a split second and go straight. I thought it was weird. Another game I play is walking in public and watching how many different couples, with children have wedding bands on. At first I was saddened by the fact that hardly any had wedding bands on. Then a friend brought something to my attention. The fact that his parents are married but do not wear their wedding bands at all. I conceded that yes, this is true so there is a flaw in that game. But none the less its just interesting to watch. One good thing that come from watching in class is I get to see who is sleeping so if I sleep, I own't feel as bad knowing other people are sleeping too! I know its unfair to the teacher. But its only in my math class so its okay.

Those unbearable things...

That she can do to you. One of the worst is when the air picks up and carries the scent of her perfume to you. It just drives you insane. Or when you spend time with her and you can swear you could smell her perfume out of the blue. So she even can drive you crazy without trying. Its the way she looks at you and you can't help but just smile. How you wish just holding her hand could convey all you feel to her. The way you wish every time you're apart you could remember the way her kiss tastes and her lips felt against yours. How you lie awake at night listening to that song that reminds you of her. How you look out at the moon and think of how it would be to hold her under the moonlight. Or really just any romantic thing like a walk in the park,or just talking and walking in general. How you would rather kiss her than make out with her. You know she would care, would even accept you at your weakest. You could still do fun things together even with each others friends. How you could fall in love even.


Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse; it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives.
-Bertrand Russell

A life long institution

Interesting enough, recently a speaker referred to my school (though I am relating this to all school) as a learning institution. I noticed something. Institution. When did this word become synonymous with school? Isn’t an institution where they would stick those who are insane? Much like Arkham. Yes I just did make that reference that game is awesome. Anyway, when did this happen? Are we insane? Well we must be to attend as many years as we have. Maybe its one big experiment they’re running on us? See what happens when we collect people with different…quirks we’ll call them. Those whose quirks could be like the ones whose quest in life is to achieve high social status in school, those wanting to belong, etc. Let’s face it we all have them, our quirks. Now what genius decided that sticking us all together would be a good idea? It makes sense they call this a learning institution. We’re learning for life and everyone in life is insane. Some more than others but there you go. The world is crazy. Also disclaimer this is only for fun I did not honestly mean a word of this its just an interesting thing to think about.